


freaky friday (woke up in shane madej's body)

by healysneakers



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Body Swapping AU, Curses, Future Explicit Content, M/M, Magic, gone mystical, two bros getting inside each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 20:55:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/healysneakers/pseuds/healysneakers
Summary: He swallows, afraid to look back up to the mirror. He’s trembling at this point. His body (fuck, it’s not even his body) is freezing and feels weak. Slowly he tracks his eyes back up to the mirror, fuzzy and fogged, but he still knows what he sees in the mirror, how could he not.He sees it everyday.The last thing Ryan sees before he passes out is Shane’s face.





	freaky friday (woke up in shane madej's body)

There’s a burst of white-blue light, and a sudden tingling sting in the air. They both suck in a breath, unsure and frozen in place. Shane flicks his eyes over to Ryan, but everything looks fuzzy and out of place. It’s like he’s just woken up and doesn’t have his glasses on, but he feels the frames pressed against the bridge of his nose, and his heart rate jumps. 

 

The room around slowly gets brighter and brighter,  but neither squint. It feels uneasily comfortable to look at, as if it was drawing their attention of it by force of will. The static in the air grows as well, prickling through their thick jackets and piercing deep into skin. 

 

What Shane is really worried about, is how quiet Ryan is. By this time anything ‘spooky’ happens, Ryan is usually freaking out and vocally expressing obscene sentiments. Shane should be laughing right now, looking into the camera and saying something about ghouls and their ways, but both are quiet. Standing nearly shoulder to shoulder, but not touching. He can feel the heat of Ryan’s body through the ice cold of the room, but can’t seem to feel TJ’s presence behind them. Huh, he thinks, TJ had been right behind him a second ago. His body won’t allow his neck turn back to see where the other man is, and his body goes clammy. 

 

He swallows, wondering how long they’ve been standing there, staring at the beacon from across the room. With all of his willpower, he slowly opens his mouth and works around the words stuck to the roof of his mouth. 

 

“R.. Ryan.” he mutters, not coming out as a question, but more of a “dude, what the fuck”. He tries to move his hand, wanting to grip onto Ryan’s wrist, to make sure neither float away. And that’s what he feels like, like he’s about to float away, towards the light and away forever. 

 

A small, high pitched whimper comes from besides him, and a wave of relief washes over him. Ryan’s there, and Shane hasn’t been left alone. 

 

“What the fuck, man?” Ryan whispers, voice wavering and high. He sounds like he’s on the edge of a famous “Bergara Panic Attack”, but there’s nothing Shane can do this time to stop it. The hum of electricity pumps louder around them, slowly starting to swallow them into its deep waves of echo. 

 

It seems that whatever is encasing them, has been angered by them breaking the silence. Everything happens all at once; 

 

The light in front of them glows infinitely brighter, and Shane’s eyes water against the intense heat. It’s as if the sun was crawling towards them, in search of taking their souls. Shane isn’t sure why their eyes haven’t melted in their sockets yet, but is also glad at the same time that they haven’t. He likes having eyes, he really does.

 

As the white-blue grows, so do the pins and needles in the air.  They prick and prod, seemingly everywhere and nowhere all at once. It’s not painful, more uncomfortable than everything. Shane wants to shrivel up into a ball to protect himself from their aggression, but also wants to cover Ryan away from them as well. He’s long enough to cover them both, and he’s trying with every bit of himself to break out of this frozen trance that they’re in. 

 

But it’s not working. 

 

Whatever it is that is in them in the room, gets bigger and brighter and stuffs itself more and more into their bodies. Before Shane has a chance scream, everything explodes into something unnatural, and that’s all they see before darkness, something they could only classify as; ‘Unworldly’.

 

*

 

When Ryan opens his eyes, everything is fuzzy.  _ Very fuzzy.  _ He blinks, thinking maybe he was just overtired and he wasn’t truly awake yet. But his view doesn’t clear up, and a small fit of panic flashes through his body. 

 

_ Okay _ , he thinks, _ it’s fine. It’s just the beers we had last night! _

 

He sighs a breath of relief, an answer to his problems. A logical reason to why he can’t see. 

 

He huffs out a breath as he sits up, idly wondering why the bed feels so much smaller than when he went to bed. He stretches, and groans as his back cracks. Pain surges through his joints, and he curses the cot. He stands up, and yelps when his forehead hits a ceiling beam, hand flying to his head to cover his now pounding welt. 

 

“Ow, shit!” he hisses. He looks up and eyes the fuzzy beam, confused on why he could suddenly reach it. There’s no way his head was that close to this ceiling last night. Unease flickers through his head, the pain under his hand beating to the rhythm of his heartbeat. 

 

He stumbles his way over their luggage, and towards the bathroom, ready to hop in the shower and have all his problems rush away scalding water. He’s glad the owners allowed them access to the private bathroom, because he needs to flush away the cold of the night from his bones, and just needs a moment to collect himself. 

 

He pushed open the bathroom door, and flicks on the light. Everything is glazed around him, and he can barely make out the layout in front of him. He sighs and tries rubbing at his eyes one last time, but frowns when he still can’t see when he opens them again. 

 

He shakes his head.

 

“C’mon Bergara,” he whispers, “get it together. You survived the night in the demon house, and you lived to tell the tale.” 

 

He sighs, and walks towards to vanity to look at the (hopefully not visible) injury on his head. He swipes a hand through his hair, and stills when he feels just  _ how much _ hair seems to be piled on his head. He squints his eyes, wondering why the fuck everything feels so off. The house placement, the size of his bed, his own body. He doesn’t understand, and now he’s really starting to panic.

 

He quickly shuffles over to the mirror, and turns on the light right above the sink. 

 

When he looks up, he laughs. 

 

Oh, that makes sense. He’s  _ dreaming.  _

 

He prods at this hair, wild and long and defying gravity, and moves his hands down to his face. Long, and slender, with round cheeks that feel soft against the pads of his fingers. The beard on his jaw is scratchy and feels sharp, and he lingers there, wondering since when did in his dreams, was he able to feel something so real. 

 

He goes down to his collarbones, defined and pointing out his shirt, and continues down, over a slender torso and down to hips, and he stops suddenly there. 

 

Everything about this body feels.. too real. He knows this body, and he knows how it feels in real life, but that’s what it feels like now. Like real life. 

 

He swallows, afraid to look back up to the mirror. He’s trembling at this point. His body (fuck, it’s not even  _ his  _ body) is freezing and feels weak. Slowly he tracks his eyes back up to the mirror, fuzzy and fogged, but he still knows what he sees in the mirror, how could he not. 

 

He sees it everyday. 

 

The last thing Ryan sees before he passes out is Shane’s face. 

 

*

 

When Shane wakes up, he hears a loud crashing in the bathroom. He jumps, startled from his peaceful sleep, and springs out of bed. He’s surprised when his head doesn’t touch the ceiling, but doesn’t think too much into it. Instead, he rushes over their items and into the bathroom, and then.. stills. 

 

Uh..

 

He’s still sleeping, right?

 

Because in front of him, crumpled up on the floor of the bathroom, is  _ him. _

 

He should know, he seems himself everyday. There’s no way in hell that he couldn’t not recognize himself. But something in his mind disconnects for a minute, and he has trouble realizing that that’s his body on the ground, and not someone else. 

 

He reaches up to grab onto his glasses, thinking maybe they’re just foggy? And maybe his doppelganger just happened to end up in the bathroom of the house they had stayed overnight in? 

 

But his fingers brush against nothing. He presses his fingers around his eyes, and then touches the top of his head to see if they’re there, but comes up short handed. He lingers around the top of his head, fingers brushed against very tall hairs, when his eyes suddenly widden. He wasn’t wearing glasses.

 

Yet he could see perfectly fine. 

 

On the floor, the person.. well,  _ he _ , starts groaning, and Shane snaps back to reality. He shakes his head, and takes a step back. He has no clue what is going on, and he’s starting to wonder if the pizza they had last night was laced with something by that sketchy looking pizza boy. 

 

“Ugh, what the hell?” the person on the floor says, voice cracking dam’s in Shane’s mentality, because that most certainly is his voice. He’s edited enough videos of him and Ryan to know what he sounds like, and that is it.

 

“Um.” Shane says, falling back into the doorway, wanting to run back to bed and fall asleep forever. 

 

The person snaps their head up and Shane comes face to face with himself. They both freeze and just stare, unsure of what to do. The Shane on the floor has his mouth flopping open and closed, like he wants to say something, but can’t get it out of his throat.  _ How very like me _ , Shane thinks absentmindedly.

 

“Me?” the person says, eyes wide. Shane can’t help but chuckle. 

 

“I see we are thinking the same thing, myself.” he laughs, rough and out of tune. His mind wants to wrap around reality, but can’t seem to get there just yet. 

 

Floor Shane lets out a huff, and cocks its head, sucking in a quick breath before saying, “Shane?”

 

Normal Shane rolls his eyes, “Very good detecting skills. I should be proud of me for recognizing myself.” 

 

Floor Shane’s eyes widen to impossible size, and all 6’3” of tangled limbs hurriedly sits up and stands on wobbling legs. When he stands fully, Shane is confused as to why his eyes aren’t leveled with his counterpart’s. Shouldn’t he be..?

 

Suddenly, Floor Shane’s hand juts out and cups his fingers around Shane’s chin. Shane jerks back slightly, and hits the back of his head against the door frame. He hisses through his teeth, and closes his eyes. 

 

“Ow, shit! Warn a guy before you touch yourself.” he grimaces, rubbing his head with his fingers. The hair on the back of his head feels shorter than usual, and slightly more slicked up. When he opens his eyes again, Floor Shane has backed up about five feet, legs hitting the back of the tub. He looks afraid, curled him on himself and hunchered away, and Shane can see his chest rise and fall rapidly. He looks small, smaller than Shane has ever felt, almost as jumpy and scared as.. 

 

“Ryan?” 

 

Floor Shane- no, Ryan, jerks slightly, and stares for a moment before nodding a quick, single nod. 

 

“Guess so.”

 

This time, it’s Shane’s turn to pass out. 

 

*

 

By the time the both of them are sitting back on their cots, sunlight shining through the tiny window on the far corner of the room, they both have had time to process just the slightest bit of information. 

 

That slightest bit being, that they have magically switched bodies, and that they possibly ate LSD laced pizza before bed.

 

Ryan groans, and lays back against the bed, long legs hanging over the side. His body feels uncomfortably big, and he already hates the powers at be for making him switch bodies with the human equivalent of Bigfoot. He casts his eyes up to Shane, who is just sitting there in Ryan’s personal body. He feels invaded. 

 

“You just gonna sit there, or are you going to start to have an existential crisis too?” Ryan says, wincing at the sound of Shane’s voice coming out of his mouth. He always thought that if he could make Shane say whatever he wanted, he’d have him say everything from ‘Ghosts are real!’ to ‘I’m sorry Ryan, you are always right.’ to ‘I love being an actual demon.’, but for some reason, now that he has the chance, Ryan wants to say nothing

 

Instead, he just reaches up to play with the frames of the glasses he’s wearing, giving a tiny thanks that Shane had brought his actual pair and not contacts. 

 

Shane flicks his eyes over to Ryan, and gives a tiny shrug. Ryan finds it unsettling to see himself with Shane’s calm and cool behavior. It feels unnatural for his face to not always constantly in a state of disarray. 

 

“What’s the point? Freak out now, and have to deal with everything while feeling panicky? Or, just chill out now and hope to God that this all resolves itself?” he mumbles, leaning down to finish tying his shoes. Ryan’s shoes. Ryan groans and shoves his arm over his face. This is all too confusing and he wishes for his bed at home. His heart race slows when he think about being home and back in his own body, where his arms aren’t as long as sidewalks and his feet didn’t tip over themselves constantly. 

 

Ryan feels a bit better, until he moves his arm and he sees Shane going through his phone. 

 

“Dude!” he shrieks, diving towards Shane as fast as he can, “Just cause you’re inside me, doesn’t mean you can go through my phone!”

 

His face goes red at his statement, sputtering as Shane laughs out loud. 

 

“Goodness me, Bergara, you didn’t have to go through the trouble of swapping our bodies to get me inside you, you could have just asked.” he chuckles as he hands the phone over to Ryan, who looks about ready to combust. 

 

Ryan sets about muttering to himself, taking his phone back to the bed. Shane thinks he hears something about ‘fucking stupid’ and ‘childish’ and he can’t help his grin. It feels weird to smile when it isn’t technically your smile. It feels off, Ryan’s mouth is big and his smile can reach from ear to ear. It makes Shane feel more joyful when he does it. Huh. 

 

Shane stands up and walks around, getting used to being shorter than before, and likes how rugged he feels. The muscles in his legs flex with every step, and he can feel how strong his back is everytime he turns his torso. He thinks back to all the hours Ryan spent at the gym, training every muscles and going until he was covered in sweat. Shane never was able to see the point in working yourself until you almost died, but feeling all the toned parts of this body makes him understand. A shiver runs up his back. 

 

_ We are leaving that alone for now,  _ he thinks. 

 

After a few minutes of pacing, Ryan seems to be fed up with seeing Shane prance around in his body. 

 

“Stop fucking pacing like a caged dog, and come help me figure out how to fix whatever happened to us. I would like to be back in my own body by the time we are back on the plane tonight, thank you very much.”

 

Shane groans, but sits down next to Ryan, pulling out his phone that was tucked under the pillow. 

 

The first thing Shane types into Google is: ‘why is my friend me and why am i my friend’

 

*

 

“Ryan, it’s almost time to pack up, and we haven’t found a single thing yet.” Shane says, locking his phone and stuffing it into his pocket. He leans back and cracks his neck, sore from being bent over his phone for two hours. 

 

Ryan groans, thumb constantly scrolling, desperate to find an answer before they leave. 

 

“We can’t just head back to California like this!” he grunts, eyes locked onto the phone, “We have to figure it out now. What if the key is this place? What if there’s a curse here, that if we can’t break while we are still inside, sticks with us forever? I mean, nothing against you, but I would much rather wake up in my body for the rest of my life, not yours.”

 

Shane mockingly puts a hand to his heart.

 

“Cheap shot, buddy. Hurts real bad to think that you didn’t ever want to swap consciousnesses with me. Are we even real B-F-F-S’?” he cries, emphasizing each letter. Ryan doesn’t know if he wants to cry or laugh. 

 

He looks at the time; 9:13a.m. and panics when he remembers their flight is at 10a.m. 

 

“No, no, no.” he groans, scrolling faster and faster through the history of the city they’re in. He’s coming up empty handed and he’s starting to think he’s not going to find bupkis before they head home. He imagines having to live in Shane’s shoes for the next, god, he doesn’t even know. Imagines living in Shane’s apartment, hanging out with Shane’s friends, visiting his  _ family _ .

 

Okay, no time to pass out again, Bergara. 

 

Shane is puttering around the room, slowly folding both his and Ryan’s clothes back into suitcases, and making sure everything is tidy. Ryan can’t help a chuckle at the face Shane makes when he lifts both suitcases onto the bed. 

 

“Damn, Ryan! You are seriously packing with these guns! Do you have a permit for them?” he says, flexing his muscles and prodding at them lightly. The lower pit of Ryan’s stomach twists, a thrill of hearing Shane’s compliment. He clears his throat, and locks his phone. 

 

“If I did have a gun permit, I would have most certainly have shot you by now.”

 

“C’mon, you wouldn’t hurt this million watt smile.” Shane laughs, smiling wide. Ryan doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to seeing himself do things, even as simple as smiling. 

 

“You’re a million watt smile..” Ryan mutters, standing up to make sure they have everything packed. He takes the room key and leaves it on the desk by the door, right where they found it, and hesitantly reaches for the door knob. His body feels frozen, as he looks down at a hand that isn’t his. He quickly turns around to face Shane. 

 

“If we can’t fix this,” he states, “what do we do?”

 

Shane stands there, both hands full of luggage, and his brows furrow. 

 

“What do you mean, ‘can’t’?” 

 

Ryan groans, rubbing his hands over his face.

 

“If we can’t find a cure to.. whatever the fuck this is,” he gestures between the two of them, “then what’s next? Do we just live with this? Do we hire a witch to fix us? Do we..” he mimes bringing a gun up to his head. Shane’s eyes widen.

 

“No! What the fuck, Ry! We aren’t going to kill ourselves!” he steams, mouth wide and eyes squinted in anger. “We’re gonna figure this out, we aren’t giving up.” 

 

His tone changes when he sees Ryan’s pained expression. He sighs and puts down the luggage, and walks over to Ryan. He places a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, and Ryan would laugh at how he has to reach up for once if he wasn’t so blindly scared.

 

Ryan’s met with his own eyes, but for the first time, he sees Shane in there. 

 

“We are going to be fine. I promise you. I will be by your side until we are back to normal.” he smiles a classic Shane Madej smile.

 

Ryan’s body relaxes, and his mind clears. He closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath, and opens them again.

 

“Let’s go home and get the fuck out of each other.” he laughs, wavily. 

 

Shane nods, a quick single nod.

 

They grab the luggage, and walk out of the room, leaving behind the truth of what really happened the night before. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone, thanks for taking a look at my fic! if you like this, please think about giving a kudos and remember to keep an eye out for the next chapter! much love!
> 
> title reference: freaky friday - chris brown + lil dicky


End file.
